Date Lab

Research Sample

The Date Night Manifesto features thirty-eight couples. Couples such as house-hunting Agatha and her finance fixated hubby; lively Milly who is with Angus, a quietly romantic engineer; and loved-up Tim and Alison who have celebrated more than thirty-three years together. Many more couples were observed and could have been included. The final thirty-eight provided experiences and stories that best served to illustrate the Principles of the Manifesto.

  • Most of these couples reside in the United Kingdom and Ireland, some in the United States/ Canada, the United Arab Emirates and a few other locations.
  • The couples reflected relationships that span from 2 years to 35 years. The average relationship length was 16 years.
  • Participants who are parents considerably outnumbered those without children.  The number of off-spring ranged from 1 to 6 children, with an average of 2.4.

Date Lab research sample - residencesDate Lab research sample - parents versus non-parents

Sophia’s Doctoral research is on understandings of romance. If you are interested in taking part in this study, or learning more about it, please complete the form on the contact page.


All the Principles in The Date Night Manifesto are psychologically validated. But fear not – you will not be bored with psychobabble. The Principles are presented in a lighthearted style, with titles like ‘Negativity No-nos’ and ‘Reveal More (but no strip tease—yet)’.

If you want the geeky stuff, some of the key psychological concepts that sit behind the Principles are:

  • Mentalisation. This is thinking about what someone else is thinking. It essentially looks like thoughtfulness and has been recently associated with emotional intelligence. Mentalisation is something you do a lot of when you are on the single scene and first dating. Back then, weren’t you consistently thinking about what your date was thinking? You might have been eager to see if a joke was well received and aimed to please your date with attention and compliments. Today, when you are putting your partner first, such as dressing in an outfit that they love, or ordering sparking water just because they like it, you are engaging in Mentalisation.
  • Positive Psychology. The proven cumulative impact of savouring, gratitude, positive emotion and kindness has been well documented by Academic Psychologists. You’ll find many of the Manifesto’s Principles like ‘Arrive in-Smile’, ‘Every Venue has a Silver Lining’ and ‘Toast your Togetherness’ recognise the powerful, but often overlooked, influence of just being positive.
  • Behavioural Psychology. This is all-important in helping to establish new ways of doing things – like going on a Date Night and being more romantic. The Date Night Manifesto uses many techniques from the field of Behavioural Psychology to ensure you get results. For example, you’ll find references to positive reinforcement – rewarding a behaviour – to encourage new patterns and manage any Date Night resistance.

The Date Night Manifesto, compared to other Dating books, installs a higher level of confidence with its use of researched facts and references to psychology. The book is written in an upbeat style, but is anchored in real experiences and science.

The author is a Psychologist; an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and registered with the Health and Care Professions Council.


If you would like a one to one chat about your Date Night challenges, Sophia is available for consultations via telephone, in person or via Skype.